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valtameri
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Moscow, Russia |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: Sat Apr 26th, 2008 05:41 pm |
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Hi, everybody! I'm so glad to find this forum and all of you here Thank you so much! Well, as I can remember myself, my life was pretty strange. I really could not do the things I didn't want to do. I mean, REALLY couldn't. The pain was SO huge and SO real that I was a kind of "paralized" and couldn't do even very simple things. I knew nothing about Abraham those days and I started to think that it was something really wrong with me. My family and friends always told me that I was too lazy, that I would have nothing in my life. And I started to fear it. But I could do nothing about it, I tried so hard to change myself but all was in vain. I was interested in many things but they were not the things which are necessary for successful life in our society. It seems the Universe didn't give me little hints that I shouldn't do it but put spells on my hands and legs at once and made me unable to do anything. I was suffering for all my childhood and even later because I couldn't understand what was happening to me, why I was so lazy about those "should do" things ( I really believed that I should do them in order to achieve something in life). I finished my school with excellent marks and several best Moscow universities were ready to see me as their student even without exams. It was a kind of magic to my friends and family. But I couldn't force myself to go there. It sounds unbelievable, but I felt even physical pain just thinking about going to one of these universities. I'm telling all these things now because I hope that my story will be helpful for someone. And you can't imagine how much of relief I felt once I met Abraham! It wasn't something new to me. I mean I felt like I had known every word that Esther spoke but was afraid to confess it, to believe that it could be true. Abraham was just somebody who told "yes, you're right, you're not crazy, you're not lazy, you're doing everything right". I was so happy to know it. And when I "let go of the oars" really magical things started to happen! All I have now I got very "unstandard" and "nonactional" ways! REALLY! Sometimes I cannot believe myself, but it happened! So, I just wanted to say that everything is really possible. Even now ANY actions are impossible for me, even when I worry about money or something else and I know that I have to do something to earn this money - but I can't! Really I can't. Last week I had some concern about money( the old thinking habits ) and my friend offered me some job. I wanted to agree because I knew I need money. But right at the moment I thought about it I felt a strong pain somewhere in my heart, I knew I didn't want it. But I said "yes" to her. ( decided to ignore how I feel, unfortunately, I didn't want to be lazy again). But my Inner-Being seems to live its own life When I woke up the next day and was about to go to my new so much unwanted job, it turned out I couldn't do it. I had a very high temperature, something about 40! I stayed in my bed for 3 days, and when I decided not to agree to this job I got OK just in minutes! I was as healthy as never before! So my life is still very strange to others, but so magical to me! So, thank you, Abraham! I just can't understand why I felt so much pain, not little discomfort( which most people always ignore) but really pain intending to do something very simple, and I can't ignore it, it's too strong. So, thank you again for your forum. It was a great treasure to me to find all of you here. Thank you! 
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jcsu
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| Joined: | Tue Mar 25th, 2008 |
| Location: | Davenport, Iowa USA |
| Posts: | 39 |
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Posted: Sat Apr 26th, 2008 10:57 pm |
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valtameri;
wow!....this nicely land out tale here....
seems SO very similar to one of my daughters....being more a "dreamer" type of person....we never declared her LAZY, but sometimes teachers did, or others, not really understanding HOW she PROCESSED THIS WORLD....and KNEW...exactly when...
she could just "DANCE"....   ......and have fun....
thereby expressing herself!
she is certainly a fine artist and has discovered a flair all her own!
although only 19 yrs old, she has a "way to go"....on this earth experience, but i am sure she will find the PERFECT FIT somewhere....if she just keeps DANCING ALONG, spreading her special kind of JOY as she goes....
as i KNOW you will too!!
 
keep your ENERGY UP and all kinds of FUN/WONDERFUL things will FLOAT right to your door.....perfect jobs....as well!
namaste....jcsu....my dancing is more like this;
Last edited on Sat Apr 26th, 2008 10:58 pm by jcsu
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New Dawn Rising
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Posted: Sun Apr 27th, 2008 05:31 am |
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Welcome to the Forum valtameri! 
I liked reading your story.
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valtameri
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Moscow, Russia |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: Sun Apr 27th, 2008 05:29 pm |
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Thank you so much to all of you!  It's great to be here!
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Nattydread
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| Joined: | Wed Sep 12th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ashland, Oregon USA |
| Posts: | 711 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 12:18 am |
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Welcome, Valtameri! 
I absolutely loved & resonated w/ your story!
Thank you for sharing it w/ us all!
I can sooo relate... Although maybe not to the intensity that you experienced via physical pain.
My family, especially my grandmother who played a dominant role in my "upbringing" (ha-ha), gave me the typical social labels of a person who is in more alignment w/ their Divine nature... "dreamer", "trouble-maker", "lazy", ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. I remember as a child feeling a heavy weight on my heart when I was forced to do something that I didn't want to do or forbidden from following my bliss. I felt that "paralyzed" feeling, as though my heart would break. (I realize now that I was allowing them to take my innate freedom.)
Over the years of my growth, I learned to cope...
I admit that I strayed a bit off the course of my Divinity b/c I wanted to please my family & earn their love & respect. But after several years, I realized that I couldn't make them happy regardless of my self-sacrificing attempts to please them... Plus, life just seemed so drab & boring to me to live this way.
Like you, when I discovered Abraham, it was a wave of relief that flooded over me. I distinctly remember an out-pouring of happy tears streaming down my face the first time I ever read Ask & It Is Given. All of the non-conforming & "strange" things that I had expressed & experienced when I was a child, and was critized for, were suddenly clarified and felt undoubtly acceptable by Divine Source. Finally, I had come home to my freedom-loving Self.
I also find myself flailing about from time to time, entangled in a mess of worry over the lack of money. But as an Aber, I too find it extremely difficult (& becoming more so) to accept undesirable offers of action-based fulfillment of my desired income. Why should I subject myself to such torture when that's not who I really am AND when it's all a vibrational journey anyway?! Ahhhh!... That feels not only easier, but GOOD too!
I have heard a phrase throughout my life but didn't fully understand it's meaning until now... "A smart man doesn't work hard, he works smart". Very Abeish, me thinks. 
Thank you for joining us, Valtameri!
I have a feeling in my heart space as though I have reconnected w/ a Soul Sister.
I so look forward to reading more of your posts!
 Natty aka Natasha
Last edited on Wed Apr 30th, 2008 07:43 pm by Nattydread
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Lucy
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| Joined: | Thu Oct 18th, 2007 |
| Location: | Paris, France |
| Posts: | 517 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 07:22 am |
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Wow, me too I resonate to this story!
It has been a wonderful experience for me to accept that this is who I am in life, a person who lives in joy and brings joy to others.
This is a powerful gift and I love how the universe supports me in bringing an ocean of abundance when I do this!
Its a beautiful thing to be this way, our guidance is so attuned!
light and love you all
Lucy
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Mueni
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| Joined: | Fri Feb 1st, 2008 |
| Location: | Nairobi, Kenya |
| Posts: | 298 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 07:52 am |
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What a lovely thread. I loved reading your stories, Natty and Valtameri. Its hard to describe but it triggered such a warm feeling inside of me. Thank you for sharing guys.
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dance of joy
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 11:11 am |
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Hi! It sounds to me that you are living FREE. Nothing better.
Love,
Christine
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dance of joy
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 11:13 am |
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Natty and Valtimeri,
Your stories are a gift to me today ~ they are offering me relief.
Love and ,
Christine
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valtameri
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Moscow, Russia |
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 04:23 pm |
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Oh, yes, it's great to know WHO YOU REALLY ARE! My big thans to all of you! I just wanted to remind you and, of course, myself that lots of different stuff can come to you in a really "unexplainable" way! And no logical reasons work! Great!
Natty, I was so glad to read your post Yes, it seems we have very much in common. I have lots of stories of this kind to share. Some of them I can't explain even now knowing about Abe and his wonderful gift. And you know, the most interesting thing is that now when I simply remember any of those days, the pain comes back immediately just for several seconds, not more, but it makes me not to ask something from the Universe but TO DEMAND it! Not just say "I want it" but to shout "Give it to me! I'm not going to take "No" as an answer!" And it works! Of course, sometimes I still get confused about some things but I'm happy that it happens more and more seldom and goes by faster and faster. Seems that I still benifit from that great contrast even if I don't have it now
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livebig!
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 09:32 pm |
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I have had this issue all of my life...
I can't bring myself to do something that I don't want to do.
Once, I was given the opportunity to have a walk on role in a tv show. I wanted to do this because I thought others would appreciate that I did they. They could talk to someone who's done something they haven't. The morning of the shooting, I could not get out of bed. I was depressed! I wanted more than anything NOT to go to the shooting. I was physically sick, but I called one of the crew members, told them I could not make it, and five or ten minutes later I was happy to not have to worry about going back.
Sometimes I don't like this feeling. Any way to get it more under control?
Michael
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valtameri
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Moscow, Russia |
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 10:28 pm |
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Well, you know, Michael, I think your problem here ( sorry to use this word, but nothing more "downstream" comes to my mind now maybe you can find something better) is in the words "under control". Here in Russia we have a very good proverb, something like - "You have to be very strong in order to allow yourself a privilege of being weak" "Being weak" here means "let's somebody else do it for me, I allow them to take care of me". As an Aber you can say "let the Universe take care of me". So, you really have to be strong and relax no matter what's happening. Just be weak, meaning "I'm too weak to control everything, it's not my work, but I want this and that and I want the Universe do it for me". And this very moment you become so strong! But there is another thing that might slow everything down for you. Well, at least, it was so for me This "I don't want it" feeling can be caused by 2 different things - either you REALLY don't want this thing, this action, this situation and so on, or maybe you want it but you fear that you will not succeed in it, that the others will think you to be a failure etc. So, first of all decide what you REALLY want or don't want, and then be strong (don't pay attention to others) and relax, have fun I know it sounds pretty simple but if you remember those so much uncomfortable feelings in your past, it helps you to stay away from repeating them in your now because now you understand why you experienced them. I think that is really what Abe is always talking about - that strong contrast helps you to know exactly "No! I don't want it!" And it keeps you from going there again. Just be strong and VERY selfish and say "I don't care what you think about me and my wish, but I want this" But you must be good at it already! Such a wonderful young man as I can tell from your picture! You are VERY strong even if you are not so sure about it. YES, believe me It gets easier and easier every time you do it. hmm...I'm not sure if I helped you but for me it was like this. I just gave up on trying to take it "under control" and feel much better since then
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Sally
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Posted: Thu May 1st, 2008 02:40 pm |
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Thank you for this thread, Valtameri, my heart is singing!
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livebig!
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Posted: Thu May 1st, 2008 05:49 pm |
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Valtameri, thanks so much for your kind, wonderful words!!!
It's amazing how my IB must know about things that I don't (AS IF! lol). I was talking to a friend about this walk-on role that I was supposed to be doing, but I couldn't do it. He asked who my contact was, and ironically, the man who I had come in contact with was a fraud.
I was told by the man that I would not be paid for my work, but I found out that this man has a habit of shafting people out of lots of money by skimming money from them. Glad my IB let me out of that can of worms!!
MichaelLast edited on Thu May 1st, 2008 05:50 pm by livebig!
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valtameri
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| Location: | Moscow, Russia |
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Posted: Thu May 1st, 2008 06:00 pm |
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Hey, Michael, your IB is just fabulous! And you are fabulous and you are doing it perfectly! So, now just remember such wonderful experiences, you know, collect them like somebody collects stamps, for example And every time you feel that awful feeling just look up into your "collection"
Yulia
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