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amazingbeing
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 01:38 am |
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 Well, I just found this web site today. I have so wanted to meet people and talk and ask questions about all I have been learning. I feel very excited about "stumbling" onto this site. I was introduced to Abraham, Esther and Jerry first by seeing the Secret. I was so drawn to her visually and her voice. But I really didn't persue it. I didn't even know her name, until one day I walked by some books at a Barnes and Noble and picked one up. I saw her face. I knew immediately it was the same woman who was on the secret and I bought it. I have since bought all the books and numerous cds. I love Abraham, and Esther and Jerry. I am sure that one day I will be in the presence of many of you.
My question: I have been in an abusive relationship. I knew that much of the problems was within my own misunderstandings, but until Abraham enlightened me about who I was, I felt like I was wondering in a fuzzy cloud. (laughing, smiling and crying) I don't even know all the computer lingo. (is that LSC?) But I know you will be receptive regardless.
He reminds me frequently that I am "running away"..... (he's read Abraham too.) and that I should stay to co-create a joyful relationship.
1) Is it correct for me change the environment, because I honestly have not yet learned to focus my attention away from the negatives? (It is overwhelming for me!)
2) Staying involved with this man, who is also an amazing being, I know. I am tolerating, not allowing. I know that Abraham says sometimes it is better to distract yourself, like "pet the cat." But eventually I will face the dissonce that I created.....right?
thank you, and Light on the Path.
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amazingbeing
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 02:25 am |
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Hello,
I will rephrase my question.
If you were in the parking lot and some person came up and started yelling at you, calling you names and standing in your path as you attempted to get away. Wouldn't you want to change the environment, and get away from this person rather than attempting to see this individual in front of you as a beautiful being of truth and light who has lost his own knowledge of who he really is at this moment ? (otherwise he wouldn't be doing this, right?)
If I walk away, will I just recreate a simular situation because I had something to do with being there in the first place.?
Light on the Path.
Susie, in Seattle area Wa, Hospice nurse.
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Scott
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 02:43 am |
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If you walk away without cleaning up your vibration, yes, you will re-create it somewhere else in your life. Must you stay in an abusive relationship? Absolutely not.
If/When you choose to leave, make peace with your decision and find as many positive aspects about what you have chosen to do as you can. As Abraham says, "Make your decision and then make it right."
You may wish to take Abraham's most contemporary process and it apply it to your current relationship. Take a clean piece of paper or a notebook and at the top of the page write: "________________, what thoughts am I thinking about you that I am using as my excuse for not fully experiencing Who I Am?" I find that writing "I am thinking" as the start of each statement is extremely helpful because once you review your work, it becomes patently clear that it is your thoughts that are creating your feelings and your experience. Once I have completed that process, I will often write all of the rockets of desire that have been launched out of my experience with your significant other and that Source is now vibrating with (and as ) and are being held for me in Vibrational Escrow.
Then, take some time to find thoughts based in relief. No need to jump to bliss or joy or ecstasy. One at a time, reach for better feeling thoughts, one at a time. Once you feel complete, you will have re-established a new vibrational set point. Nothing will likely have changed in your physical experience or the way that your partner/former partner acts, but you will feel better. And that is the work. To find better feeling thoughts, in order to allow all that you have already created and has been completed in your vibrational escrow to flow to you.
All the best.
Scott
Last edited on Sun Jan 20th, 2008 02:44 am by Scott
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amazingbeing
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 03:07 am |
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Scott!
Wow, thank you for your answer. I will take a note pad and start tonight. It feels so good to have a place that I can ask some of my questions and meet people drawn to the same ideas as I am.
I moved out last year, to my own house , and the interactions, some good and some bad, have gone round and round. I really wanted to change my vibration -seeing both myself and him through eyes of love and forgiveness. I had not heard Abrahams quote about, make the decision, then find the vibration. I knew in my heart I was missing a important understanding about this issue.
Again, I really appreciate your reaching across miles to uplift a stranger. The internet is so cool.
Susie, Light on the Path.
Ps.... I have spent countless hours agonizing over understanding this issue. Time to put down my oars and know that all is well 
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Scott
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 03:17 am |
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Many blessings on your path! Let us know how it goes, if that feels downstream to you!
Scott
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amazingbeing
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 03:21 am |
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| Do you have time for another question?
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Scott
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 03:25 am |
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Put it out there and the answer will undoubtedly show up.
Mine won't be tonight, but this place attracts the perfect answer every time!
Scott
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amazingbeing
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 03:28 am |
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Thank you again.
I will do some writing now and ask more later. Nice to meet you.
Susie
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Grace full
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 04:26 am |
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My question: I have been in an abusive relationship. I knew that much of the problems was within my own misunderstandings,
taking responsibility for attracting an abusive partner, is one thing. It doesn't make him not abusive by focusing on the positive things about him.
If he's not connected with source, and therefore abuses others, you can't change his behavior, that would be for him to do.
I moved out last year, to my own house , and the interactions, some good and some bad, have gone round and round. I really wanted to change my vibration -seeing both myself and him through eyes of love and forgiveness.
I see that as you've already made a decision in moving. The love and forgiveness will make it easier for you to attract a relationship with someone more like you next time.
He reminds me frequently that I am "running away"..... (he's read Abraham too.) and that I should stay to co-create a joyful relationship. Abusive men generally have to be the ones to end the relationship (a pride thing I guess) you know the 'it's over when I say it's over"
Is the relationship becoming joyful, instead of abusive now that he's read abraham? I can say I have seen a few total jerks change into really nice men.
My advice comes from more of those relationships than I care to recall and much volunteer work with women trying to get out of abusive relationships.
I've been married for almost 10 years to wonderful, patient, loving man who has never done anything remotely abusive, despite having a father who abused his mother. Guess he learned how not to be.
Even pre-abe I was able to forget, forgive, and find the positive things about all the others (considered them learning experiences) and learn what I wanted and didn't want in a relationship. I didn't settle for anything less after that.
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amazingbeing
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 03:19 pm |
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Thank you Grace full for your thought full answer.
"taking responsibility for attracting an abusive partner, is one thing. It doesn't make him not abusive by focusing on the positive things about him."
How do you do that box thing?
I kind of had the idea that if I were so good at focusing on the part of him I like, So that was who is to me..... that's who he is to me! (Abe's CD on relationships) then he could only give me that and not abusive.
I believe this. I just feel that I couldn't acheive it. So, in a sence I feel that I failed in that. I am living physically in a different place. But vibrational, he and I are not complete.
Abusive men generally have to be the ones to end the relationship (a pride thing I guess) you know the 'it's over when I say it's over" (Grace Full)
Now, this a gem of a thought to me! Maybe this is why I have found it so difficult to say no to him, he is so persistant.
But, on the label of Abusive men. This man is powerful, he is brilliant, sexy, creative, artistic, musical, and funny. He has acted in ways that I call abusive,,,, pushing, shoving, shouting, etc. I know that the like attracts like factor was deep...he had experiences a child where his parents stood in front of him, shouting and pushing him, while at the same time telling him "you can't control yourself". I think he bought that......... AND for me, I grew up and learned along the way that I didn't have control. So there it is like attracting like.
However, for me the question continues. Isn't it very likely that we came here to this earth place to gain understanding about these principles and then find GREAT joy in turning our boats downstream. Together.
He started reading Abraham and listening about the same time as I. He continues to ask about co-creation. He doesn't want to loose me. He is learning and reaching, which I appreciate. But honestly, I don't feel drawn to him. I am so tired of trying to make it work. I attempt to forgive and learn from the past, then some new incident occurs, causing great resentment and pain.
thank you all for your embracing my unique being.
Light on the Path, Susie
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Grace full
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 06:18 pm |
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How do you do that box thing? If you highlight what you want to 'quote' and there are quotations on the right side of the thing above the box you reply in and hit those it boxes it right up for you. They have the coolest stuff on this forum
But, on the label of Abusive men. This man is powerful, he is brilliant, sexy, creative, artistic, musical, and funny. He has acted in ways that I call abusive,,,, pushing, shoving, shouting, etc.
They do have their flip side, dont' they. If the relationship doesn't FEEL GOOD to you and you have to work so hard at it, I think that would be vibrational incompatibility.
honestly, I don't feel drawn to him. I am so tired of trying to make it work. I attempt to forgive and learn from the past, then some new incident occurs, causing great resentment and pain.
I had a great father, much like my husband, and an abusive mother who didn't like kids, she just had them because everyone else did, and she needed someone to do the house work She still constantly tells me that I 'don't need' everything, she has always had the attitude that I don't deserve anything, and that is what I attracted for years, men who treated me bad because i didn't deserve better. I still hear in my mind, everytime I get something or do something, her saying "you don't NEED that"
However, for me the question continues. Isn't it very likely that we came here to this earth place to gain understanding about these principles and then find GREAT joy in turning our boats downstream. Together.
Since we all have our own boats-
we are together with the others in their boats going downstream, but we can't give anyone else a ride in our boat, they have to get their own boat going the right way and pull those oars in and go with the flow. You can only get YOUR boat going the right way and you will meet others on the stream along the way.
There is nothing more important than that you feel good
Be selfish and put yourself first.
I see you are a hospice nurse, I had a friend in hospice recently (I'm actually south of you in Vancouver ) and the nurses were amazing. You must be a special person!
Much love to you
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amazingbeing
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Posted: Sun Jan 20th, 2008 09:20 pm |
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Dear Gracefull ,
If the relationship doesn't FEEL GOOD to you and you have to work so hard at it, I think that would be vibrational incompatibility.
Wow, that really feels good to say out loud. I appreciate your insights.
I still feel there is a misunderstanding in my mind about Abraham's teaching "you might as well leave the country". It was my goal to change my vibes and "stick my head in the sand" regarding his behavior. But it feels better to give up on making the marriage work, at least for now.
I poked in and read some of the info on the theme about bipolar. Very interesting because, my husband has classic bipolar behaviors.
You can only get YOUR boat going the right way and you will meet others on the stream along the way.
There is nothing more important than that you feel good
Be selfish and put yourself first.
I see you are a hospice nurse, I had a friend in hospice recently (I'm actually south of you in Vancouver
It feels relieving to say that too. So, I have my boat, you have your boat but together we are in one stream? Ultimately, are we not all one? I am my brother's keeper? The hate and rage I see in another is my own mirror to enlighten me and learn?
oh, yes, I am a hospice nurse. I love helping people as they prepare to "croak"  giggle. Oh course, I share this attitude in my vibration, not my words to most.
Light on the Path, Susie
Last edited on Mon Jan 21st, 2008 07:08 am by amazingbeing
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Grace full
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Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 01:58 am |
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Do you listen to abe at hayhouseradio.com, it's tonight 9-10 the last one of this week. There is some about starting over with new relationships..or others raising their vibrations to match yours.
"what others mostly show you is that which is most active in your vibration"
I think the main point is we have habits in our vibrations that can get us in the same situation again. I think if you are aware of that and working on your own self, learning from what's already happened you can avoid that. Actually I know we can because that's what I did
I still feel there is a misunderstanding in my mind about Abraham's teaching "you might as well leave the country". It was my goal to change my vibes and "stick my head in the sand"
I have to get off here, theres stuff getting overdone in the oven....
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amazingbeing
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Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 07:11 am |
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No, I don't listen to Hey house. I would probably like it. I read your post to late for tonight, however.
Well, I need to work on myself that's true. 
Light on the Path, Susie
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Grace full
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Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 08:18 am |
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The thread called LOA breakup party has some good quotes and stuff about relationships on it. Worth a read.
The new abe shows on hayhouse are tuesday at noon and 6pm, there's a schedule on there. Abe isn't archived any more, but there are lots of other good shows to listen to. I love Wayne Dyer myself and his voice....
We're all working on ourselves, but at least now we know, that we'll never get it done, so we can't get it wrong.
What a relief!
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