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Mark James
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 12:16 am |
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Right now I am introducing my beautiful daughter Madyson to Abe and Laws of Attraction. She lives during the week with her mother, and with me and my fiance on the weekends. She isn't very motivated to apply these new ideas and teachings from Abraham, sometimes she will get stuck in a negative rut over simple issues, and choose to dwell on them rather than work towards more positive feelings. When I am with her, I tend to help her acknowledge when she is pointing upstream, but my assisting her to try to think of better thoughts is working so well.
So I was hoping that some of you may be able to offer some advice to help me get her pointed in the right direction.
I also wanted to add that she helped me write this a bit, and I wanted to show her what a wonderful forum this is to help excite her a little more.
Last edited on Fri Jun 27th, 2008 12:28 am by Mark James
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Jody1
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:00 am |
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Hi Mark,
First, how great for your daughter that she chose an Aber Dad!
I have three children, and did most of my "raising" of them before I knew about Abraham, and I've often commented, oh, if only I'd known then what I know now.. even though of course "regret" is wasted emotion.. but anyway.. good job that you have this perspective to raise your daughter with.
That said, however, I am wondering if maybe you'd have more success if you don't present the teachings to your daughter as something she has to learn. You said she is "not motivated".. and well.. she does get to choose! That's basic Abe, after all... if it doesn't feel right to her to be trying to "apply teachings".. I think that's her natural freedom loving self coming through!
A better way to "use" what you are learning from Abraham would be to simply put them into practice yourself, rather than try to "teach" your daughter. Abraham says:
"You teach by the CLARITY OF YOUR EXAMPLE"
They also say:
"Words don't teach - life experience teaches".
These two quotes are key when it comes to parenting. So even if you never say the name "Abraham" to your daughter, and even if you never ask your daughter in so many words to apply the teachings.... if you apply them in YOUR experience, she will benefit from your example.
You say she sometimes dwells on the negative rather than "working toward" the positive. Well.. "working toward" doesn't always feel good. Sometimes we just want to be acknowledged that we are where we are. I'm not suggesting that you lower YOUR vibration to match her negative one, but I am suggesting that you ACCEPT that wherever she is, and whatever she is feeling is just perfect for her at that moment. By judging it as "dwelling" you are casting your own frustration on her already not so good feeling emotions.
Abraham often talks about how when someone is feeling down, there's nothing more annoying than some "Abraham person" getting in their face and saying "cheer up!" or "think positive!" 
So... again, I think if you were asking Abraham about this on the hotseat, their response might be to tell you to lighten up. Have FUN with your daughter. Create experiences that feel good. And let go of trying to "teach principles". You don't want her time together with you and your fiance to feel like "deliberate creation school"... just be happy and feel good yourself, and she WILL benefit from Abraham's teachings - through observing her wonderful, joyful, loving, and positive Dad!
Jody
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nsmith
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:12 am |
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I think fun is the key , and also read her the Sara books for fun, such as bed time stories. I think they are cool because it has a talking owl in it , I love those books, i get exciited every time i think of Solomon the talking owl, he makes alot of since . it is a magical book, the more fun you have with this the better she will understand, And they love nothing better than to have fun
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Lucy
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 07:58 am |
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You dont need to teach her about Abraham. She has everything inside her. She can look within and follow her own guidance whenever she wants. I think that teaching someone about Abraham, when they are not asking, may be futile.
You can be an example of someone in her life doing so and following his heart. You can be an example of love, of fun, of following your feelings. You can be positive, fun, uplifting, cool, allowing!
You can be an example of someone who focuses on his vibration, his joy, to the exclusion of all else and encourages her to do the same. When you love someone, you allow them to chose their life.
When I was younger, and even now, I actively resisted my parents teaching me how to think. Eventually they allowed me my own experience without judging it or labelling it. I learned to follow my instincts.
She is a powerful creator who is attracitng everything she needs to her. Just allow her and love her unconditioanlly, whatever she does.7
I love that you cant get it wrong either, because either way you are creating contrast for her to bounce off into! Her inner being says thank you!
light and love
Lucy
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Ru
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 10:45 am |
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wow Jody!! beautiful stuff! you are SO connected!
 .........Ru
Mark i love your daughter's name!!
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phelana
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 11:33 am |
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How wonderful you love your child so much to want her to live a healthy happy life. Live by example. Live LOA in your daily life. It will overflow and extend. Modeling is one of the biggest ways kids learn. Monkey See Monkey Do...haaa..it's her choice ultimately what she applies..
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Mark James
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 03:12 pm |
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Thank you everyone for your beautiful replys, I agree that I was likely being to 'Hainds On' with my daughter, and intoducing her to Abe. These works make me so excited, I absolutely love it, it has already been such a marvelous re-awaking so to speak for myself that I want my closest family to be able to experience the same thing.
This thread has caused me to ask another question. When my daughter is going upstream, what is it that I should be doing.
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Jody1
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 03:25 pm |
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Mark, "going upstream" is quite subjective. That means that even if your daughter is feeling angry or frustrated and acting out in some way, she may, from the perspective of HER boat, actually be going downstream! This reminds me of a story Abraham tells about when Esther told Jerry something, and Jerry commented, "that sounds pretty upstream", and Esther replied "NO, it wasn't - if was downstream for me! You don't know how I felt a minute ago!"
Keep in mind that ANY advance up the Emotional Guidance Scale, is actually movement DOWNstream in the Abraham stream anology. For instance, if someone is feeling disempowered, or is grief stricken, and then they become very ANGRY, their anger is actually movement downstream! It's relief for them, from the perspective of where they are. Often children span the EGS much more quickly than adults do. Literally one minute they are in despair and the next they are in fun and joy. So when you judge your daughter's thoughts or emotions or behavior as "upstream", ask yourself where she might have been a moment ago! Maybe the best thing to do is to acknowledge whatever she is feeling in the moment and let her know that is is okay to feel it, because that means her guidance system is working.
Sure, you want her to pivot right into a better feeling place.. and oh boy can I understand THAT! When I was on the hotseat last October, it was all about me telling Abraham (about my own daughter) "but I just want her to be happy!" Abraham made it clear that her happiness is just not my business! That's a hard one to swallow when we've been taught that it IS!!
 And yet.. hearing Abraham say it gave me great relief and opened up new insights for me.
You didn't tell us how old your daughter is. If she's under 4, distraction works great! If she can take her focus off whatever is driving her mad, she'll feel better quickly. If you can't easily distract her, and she's really upset, how about just ALLOWING...
Maybe if you tell us how old she is and give an example of something where she appears to be going "upstream", we can all try to comment on what Abe might say?
One thing I do want to say, is, again, smart girl for choosing a Dad that wants to figure this stuff out!
Jody
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Mark James
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 04:08 pm |
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Thanks again Jody, Mady is 11. An example of what I think is her giong upstream could possibly be bedtime last night. Instead of going to bed, she will come of with some sort of reasoning(last night was her feeling ill) and then make it escalate to the point that she gets into so much trouble, and gets so much backlash over at her moms house, so when she calls me I try to distract her as much as possible as you mentioned in hopes of making it a better situation for her at her moms.
I used to think that Mady was being badly inluenced by her mom, now I'd changed the way I think about that, and I myself am constantly working towards better my vibration in not just my family experience, but every experience that I am aware of at that time.
I've listened to so many Abe tapes, and I definitely agree with you 100%, some times I guess even though I've heard so much to just step away, and even picture that person being happy and moving downstream instead of being involved in the bad energy, where I can't help.
I had a chat with Mady this morning as we were coming home, only saying that I was not right to try to point her upstream, and I will step back and let her work on what she chooses to work on, and I will try to be the best example for her.
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Jody1
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 04:20 pm |
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Oh yes, the old "I don't want to go to bed" dilemma. Her Mom is probably just exhausted and at the end of her rope and has rules at her house that freedom loving Mady wants to defy! Quite the prosaic situation I'd say.. and the best thing? She's only going to be 11 for less than a year now... and then she'll be 12 (for only a year).. and... get my drift? I know it sounds like I'm making light of it, and she is probably really in distress sometimes when she tried to push against her Mom's rules, but if you can relax into knowing, REALLY knowing, that it's ALL GOOD... it really will be.
Since this is a co-created pie between Mady and her Mom, I would just envision them both doing the best they can and having a great relationship. I'll bet her Mom has positive aspects galore, and the more you focus on those, the more Mady will, and the less she'll push against...
Sigh.. I'm tired just thinking about it. I remember when my boys refused to go to bed at "bed time". I'm trying to remember now, why there was a "bedtime". I'm sure it was because I firmly believed they needed x hours of sleep, and besides that - I knew *I* needed x hours of peace and quiet!
You can really let go of needing to "make a better situation for her at her Mom's." Truly - you get to just let that go, and when Mady sees that you have, she won't be calling you complaining about the "situation" (which I'll bet doesn't sit well with Mom!) And when she sees that you trust her to work out her own stuff, whether it's with Mom, with friends, teachers, whatever, and that you believe all is well even if sometimes things are not to her liking... you'll both feel great relief.
You've just said so many things that are SO on track. Pat yourself on the back and have fun. You are doing GREAT!!! And so is Mady! 
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 04:24 pm |
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A few thoughts...
She's definitely at an age where she wants to assert herself and feel more empowered. (And quite rightly!) That's bound to involve instances which you think are less - shall we say - appropriate! ...But that's the point. She's in charge of her own being and her own contrast, desires, allowing and disallowing.
A great approach with children, that I find is far more 'natural', is to let them teach us. In this case, she's closer to remembering it anyway, but if she read any/all of the Sara books and then helped you with it, you might all benefit and it's more empowering for her - and makes a much greater impression on her brain. If she likes it.
It's great for students in schools to talk to one another about what they're learning and to have opportunities to explain the information to someone else (teachers / friends / family). ...Active rather than passive.
As for bedtimes, you might get Mady involved in setting up a flexible framework for such routines. When it's more about what's in her interest rather than what's imposed upon her it can help - and it's better discussed and created at a calm, separate time!
Involve her. Let her know she has creative control and freedom. Let her know, she's free to be herself - whoever 'herself' is!!!
And what Jody said...
And what Jody said...
And what Jody said...
Ocean x 
Last edited on Fri Jun 27th, 2008 04:25 pm by Oceanturquoiseblue
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thelionspet
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 04:42 pm |
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Hey
Jody gave a great reply there. She is spot on. Plus, when you're young, it's just the time to be difficult isn't it, especially with your folks. It can sometimes feel like you are drumming religion into them, even though the teachings and worlds of Abraham are far from that.
It would be amazing for her to read either the Law of Attraction or Ask and it is Given Book. She would get so much out of them I know. You need to read it and find out about it for yourselve and really the person alone has to be ready for that. They have to want it. It took me so long to manifast those books into my life but wow.. so glad i got there.
Have fun with her... give her your time, it's the most precious thing. When the foundations are right, everything else good will follow.
Love
Angie x
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thelionspet
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 04:53 pm |
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| I should have finished the thread before I put my ha'penny's worth in. She's only 11... ahh. Time to read the great books in years to come. Now is definitely about putting forward the good and fun example. Fathers and daughters, such a special relationship.
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Mark James
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:04 pm |
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Thanks again everyone for the wonderful thoughts and advice, so aspiring, I feel relief already knowing that I will choose not to try to change the situation.
I also wanted to mention that Mady is very accepting of these Abe teachings, and I know she is well on her way, I only want the best for her
She is right here with me right now and we are wondering if there is possibly some exercises/processes for bedtime that might help distract her when the time calls for it?
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:17 pm |
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Mark James wrote: She is right here with me right now and we are wondering if there is possibly some exercises/processes for bedtime that might help distract her when the time calls for it?
What do you enjoy Mady? What do you like? What makes you feel more relaxed, more in control, happier? What's fun for you, in loud and quiet ways?
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