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Abraham-Hicks Discussion > Forums > Abraham-Hicks Teachings and You > how to lose a bad friend nicely?

how to lose a bad friend nicely?
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beautifulsam
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Joined: Wed Jun 30th, 2010
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 01:12 pm
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Hi guys.

Any wise advice on how to let this 'friend" out of my life? I have manifested new friends for her and she went to them, and ignores me every weekend so that was good...

 but she still calls me 3 times a day during the week because she knows i am free during the day like her.

She can't stand to be alone. But I dont like her much .She steals husbands and boyfriends, (not mine) but I don't like hearing about it, cheats  people and bitches endlessly about everyone. Being around her is a drag, Shes' bossy annoying and clingy..

How do I let her go without drama?

thanks

angelman66
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 01:36 pm
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If you don't feed the energy, it will follow a different path. Currently you are a magnet for this person.

You don't have to answer the phone every time it rings. You don't have to engage.

Focus on other things and people, rather than this person, and the person will drift out of your life, with no effort from you.

-C

beautifulsam
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 01:50 pm
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perfect answer.

Of course.

 

Thanks ::TU::stardust

SlowJam
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 01:53 pm
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Angel is right...and caller ID is a good thing.

"The most important thing is that I feel good."

CreatorChristine
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 03:37 pm
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Dearest beautifulsam,

Okay, you have attracted a bossy, annoying, bitchy homewrecker with too much time on her hands into your life. ::LOL I'm not laughing at your plight, but that mental image of her is just too funny! Anyway - It is what it is. (Btw, you can't create in another's reality - you may have wished for her to have new friends, but SHE had to be a vibrational match to them in order for them to "manifest") And the way you describe her indicates BOATLOADS of resistance, TONS of judgment. You're never going to lose her that way. :)

So, see how it feels to look at it this way. This woman is LONELY and DOES NOT LIKE HERSELF (which is probably why you don't like her, either). Now it's not your job to make her feel better. She's launching her rockets and contributing to the expansion, and it is up to her to follow it. But perhaps you can soften your resistance to her and see her as the genius creator she is. Sure, she's playing the role I described in the first line, but Source adores her all the same, clingy husband-thief or no. :) Try to no longer bitch about her to anyone else, that only heightens your focus on her and continues to include her in your vibration. See her as she truly is and wish her well in all her creating. And lay off the judgment. You might not agree with her way of living, and that is perfectly alright, that is your prerogative. And you need not experience that. But you are not doing yourself any favors if you push against her and see her as WRONG. She can't get it wrong, any more than you can. :allgood

Lots of love to you,
Christine

TheXception
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 05:13 pm
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but she still calls me 3 times a day during the week because she knows i am free during the day like her.

Find something to do during the day?

beautifulsam wrote: She can't stand to be alone. But I dont like her much .She steals husbands and boyfriends, (not mine) but I don't like hearing about it, cheats  people and bitches endlessly about everyone.
I am curious.  What is your conversation with her like that she finds herself interested in being bitchy with you?
 

How much more drama could there be than bitching at you 3 times a day?

WildLily
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 05:41 pm
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Right on, Christine!

Su ::hearts

chillinjoan
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 06:05 pm
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this might seem rude, but I quit answering the phone, people quit calling.....surely she will get the hint.

BUT, DO what Christine advised, it is the best way to feel better about your situation with anyone, not just her.

If you don't learn this, you will just attract more friends like her.

Marc
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 08:06 pm
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If you stop trying to get rid of your friend via action and instead remember that what you're ultimately seeking is relief from the negative emotion you're experiencing when you're observing/thinking about your friend, LOA will handle things for you. 

For example:  While you describe your friend as a drag to be around, there are plenty out there who view bossy, clingy, cheating, homewreckers as delightful entertainment.  After all, if they didn't, we wouldn't have reality television, would we?  

Once you step back and realize that you can have a different, better feeling, emotional reaction to this person then you realize that whether she stays or goes isn't the big deal it used to be.  You can enjoy life without her, or watch with amusement for free what broadcasters pay lots of money to televise...  or you could decide you want to experience different aspects of her altogether and focus on those.  There really isn't any limit to what you get to experience.

bmaster
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 08:33 pm
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I have the same kind of casual friend. As an Aber, I don't judge that she has been seeing a married man for decades because it's not my pie. I know people fall in love with others when they're already married and that's just life, but I don't get turning it into a way of life.

I can see how you might not want to introduce her or a similarly behaving person to your bf, etc. This is driftwood for me and I wondered about this very thing yesterday, when I realized I didn't want to introduce her to my family, which includes my sisters' husbands. For me, it's pretty easy to let her float on downstream since she's not that involved in my life.

Just be busier and busier with other things and let her go with love and she will disappear off into the sunset! :-)

:oars:

TryAgain
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 08:47 pm
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She is a cooperative component to bitch sessions, bossing around, cheating, home-wrecking. COOPERATIVE COMPONENT. You've heard "it takes two to tango", right? She cannot perform these duties of the cooperative component, without there being a matching vibration out there. She can't wreck a home that isn't vibrating in the range of seeking a homewrecker. She can't bitch to someone without that someone having placed focus on her bitchiness and expecting bitchiness.


bmaster, your friend wouldn't be able to cause a cheating situation with your brother-in-laws unless there was already a vibrational "asking" in place (and if there is, then, if not her, just someone else will be the cooperative component...so you're off the hook as far as making introductions). Now you may not think your brother-in-laws or your sisters are asking for an old fashioned homewreckin', but if there is alot of "Oh God, please don't ever let my husband cheat on me, please!!" then that would be the same as shouting NO at something. That would invite the very thing that they might be trying to push away.  And again, that is the vibration that they may or may not be emanating and there is nothing that anyone else can do but be a cooperative component to it, or be not a component at all (naturally elsewhere; vibrationally apart). So, it really only comes down to YOUR vibration. If you are vibrating at "I don't want my friend to wreck my sister's marriage." then you are actually shouting NO at it and well..........


Remember, its not the action journey of speaking to someone or avoiding someone or introducing or not introducing...its the emotional journey. Find relief.

bmaster
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 10:13 pm
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Try Again,

Thanks and you're right on the LOA particulars. But I'm in not need of relief because it was just a passing thought, one time, yesterday, then I saw this today. That problem isn't in the vibes in my family and none of use worry about it, including me, but I always run a screen test before I bring new people into my family pod. :-) I also don't attract her so she's not IN my life, so no problem with that, either. I was just trying to say something relevant to the discussion and say, hey, I know what you mean!

:oars:

beautifulsam
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 Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 12:58 am
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Thank you guys,

All fantastic answers, and yes you have made me aware that I contribute so greatly to this relationship by focussing on it.  I should focus on her nice qualities and not on how much She annoyes me :(

I knew it, I just needed reminders thank you so much... I slip and then become judgemental. I do this with my sister as well. ggrr.

So today no more judging xx


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